Day Three.

I realize that this is only the third day and by this time you must be wondering why I don’t think of her more often. I do. Every waking second. It hurts. The only thing I have going for me right now is this blog.

I had initially planned to end my already sucky day with a study marathon. Apparently, Mom and Dad don’t want me to do it. It’s funny huh? Parents nag you to study all day long and when you actually say you are going to study, they deny you the pleasure of acting according to your will. Anyway, I am actually a bit relieved.

One of the few things that I actually enjoy doing, is thinking. I love to think. I love to lay in the dark and slip away in to my own thoughts. In my mind is a world I created from scratch; a place where everything is the way I like it. Everything in its place. I sometimes play out real life events in my head over and over again, doing things a million different ways, looking for the perfect combination of random events. If any of you out there is an actual gamer, you might remember the game,  ‘REMEMBER ME’. It feels like I’m playing out one of those memory sequences.

Gaming reminds me. One of these days, I  plan to do a gaming marathon with one of my other friends. I’ll let you guys know how that goes.

Rejection changes you in a way you would never have imagined. You look around and you see all the love and it disgusts you. You begin to imagine people drifting away from you, although they might actually be trying to get closer to you. You develop a paranoia of loneliness. Your best friends seem miles away and you want to just let go and cry all the time. You begin to question your every move. You second guess your judgement on every matter. It seems to you that you have taken the wee bit of dignity that you held with you and crushed it with your foot. You look in the mirror and you start to see your ugly mug growing uglier every second. It isn’t pretty. What’s the way out you ask? It is only day three. Let’s see what comes out of this.

I’m sitting here with my eyes barely open. I’m typing but i have no idea what I’m saying. They are screaming after me to go to sleep. I think I might. I need the comfort of My World.

Mvs

P.S : Just to confirm, ‘My World’ refers to a fantasy world I’ve created for myself, that I drift off into when I sleep. It’s definitely not a Bieber album.

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Day Two.

Let me shed some light on how the Indian love scenario works. It doesn’t. As a teen, the regular Indian is not encouraged to embrace the feelings. Instead, expression of anything even close to attraction to another person frowned upon in the society and family members have a tough time living with it. When change is as radical as it is in the 21st century, adolescents have to face the brunt of the impact (when do they ever not?).  Adults cannot (just cannot) accept that their son/daughter is being influenced by western culture. As a result of this, the simple task of asking a girl out is glorified and made to seem like a society defying gesture. And it is. How the typical Indian teen (male) asks a girl out : 1. Make friends with the girl. 2. Hang out with the girl and do things for her for a long time. 3. Become close enough to be her sister. 4. Drop the L-bomb on her. If she says no, you are left with a year of wasted efforts with nothing to show for it. Not even a friend. Now that that is out of the way, let’s get down to how Day Two actually went. A word of advice. NEVER LISTEN TO LOVE SONGS AFTER REJECTION. I made the mistake of listening to The Script this morning and all I could think of was all our times together over the last year. It was terrible. Songs to avoid ( I actually went through all of these today) 1. Pretty much all of The Script. 2. All of me bye John Legend (NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER listen to this after a breakup) 3. Timberlake. You’d do much better listening to something with more energy (preferably anger). Metal gets a thumbs up from me. Towards the end of the day, I found myself gravitating towards Breaking Benjamin, Linkin Park’s older albums and Green Day. I’m actually surprised I was able to blog today. Usually when it comes to blogging or writing in a diary, I just can’t bring myself to write on the second day. I found me a new obsession. I am going to follow tech and craft me a religion out of it. I ended up catching the death of a cold and I am also running out of words. I also discovered I had followers. A huge thanks to you guys. You practically made my day Mvs P.S @asealskhaki….Did you think you wouldn’t make an appearance on this post?

Day One.

So, I’ve worked up a makeshift schedule for myself. School (Senior year), coaching, work out, blogging, studying and sleep. I figured, the only way to keep my mind off the whole thing is to keep myself busy. Nothing outrageous comes to mind (yet).

I realize that the whole point of undertaking this project is to keep from talking, thinking about her. Well, it is not easy when you have to see her at school everyday. Did I mention we are not on speaking terms anymore? It’s fun when you see her consciously avoiding you while you are working to achieve the same ( also, that is the first time I’ve managed to spell ‘Achieved’ right on the first try).  She seems happy enough without me. Suits me fine, I guess. As long as she keeps out of my way and doesn’t insist on talking about it, it’s fine with me.

@asealskhaki If you ever get down to reading this, I have news for you. MY LIST AIN’T READY YET! BWAHAHAHA!

This is becoming kinda hard for me as I run out of things to talk about,. It is times like these that I envy asealskhaki. I wish I could paint and run about writing poetry and shit. I WILL come back with better material tomorrow.

Come to think of it, this blog is the most interesting thing that has happened all day.

Mvs

 

 

Where It All Starts…

Right away, you should be noticing a pattern. I’m a huge fan fan of those dots (ellipsis, is the term for the phenomenon). They help me create suspense, although just for a second or two (possibly less) and give me enough time to think about what I’m going to say next (however anti climactic it may see to my audience (or readers (whichever suits you best))). Again, right off the bat, you realize that I, am one for rambling, and I promise you, you will be seeing a lot of that in the coming month.

So, I’m not really the kind of person who goes about writing too much. When I do write, I write too much (kinda like right now). This is supposed to be a mere introduction, but it is shaping up to be something more already. I will try to keep it simple.

Why am I doing this, you ask? An interesting story precedes my writing this blog. It all started an year ago. But you dont need to know the whole story ;  just the parts that matter. Being a guy, I had a girl that I thought, would be the one. Being the girl that she is, she thought not. Now, being the guy that I am, I persisted. She, being who she is, cut off contact. Hence, the regrets.

Now, the manipulation. There is another girl ( …….I think all my problems stem from the other sex). This one, being my best friend (@asealskhaki)and all, had to just command me and I got down to business. “Think of 10 most outrageous things that you’ve never done, write me a list and give it to me”, is what she said. She also said, “I need it by tonight” and that was 3 days ago…I think (I’m pathetic). That night I had only 3 things down on my list. I didn’t help that the most outrageous task I could think of, was a 7 hour study marathon (not that it isn’t outrageous but it’s frankly, boring and it is most definitely not something you’d want to do to get over a person). All I’m saying is, her idea. Not that it doesn’t seem interesting to me. Just that, I might not have really outrageous stuff to do, but I’m going to do my best.

Mvs